I doo solumney swere to abiyde by da holly miyon pledge or i may go bold an mi tezzers drop of:

1. On meetin eepers for da firs tyme i wil stamp on em!
2. i wil not fite wiv mi cayge maytes until da tyme it is wen my youmans ave gone to bed an then i will unleesh hell an much sqweekin an if i can i wil tri to make da sownd of a teevee bein pinched an they wil fink there is buglars in da frunt room.
3. i wil investigayte all of da suttle nooances of da wurd 'nawing'
4. wen frowin poo i wil frow for distans an accurasy
5. i wil only fart wen i am on a sholder
6. it is alwes mine!
7. i wil neverr relenqwish yoggies an wil fite to da def to keep em
8. if i see tezzers danglin abouve me firs i wil cheque to make shure they isnt riffs an then i wil bite em!
9. i no dat da best game is calld pushin rats off of shelves an if it is a hi wun dat is evern betterer
10. wenever sumwun ses rats is relly clever i will do sumfink to prove dat rong lyke hedbuttin da fud bowl or fallin over backwards tryin to cleen mi winky
11. i wil neverr wash mi tale
12. if i am a boy rat i will keep chequing to mayke shure the norty fairies didnot steel mi tezzers wen i was not lookin an if i ever see a norty fairie i wil ask him wot he has dun with riffs tezzers
13. if i am a girl an i am in seesen i will flap mi eers seductavelee at ovver rats an mi youmans an also da fud bowl
14. if i am a nootured boy i wil plot a bloody revenj on mi youmans dat they will not preshiate
15. i wil onlee hide the spensive fings
16. i wil destroye mi very spensive hammuck in for seconds flat but i wil luvinlee tresure the hammuck mi youmans made fur me out of da flannel dat da washin masheen riped up.
17. i wil alwes do a weewee on da remote control
18. i will rub poop in playces were poop is not welcum
19. in the tyme between avin a barth an goin in a show i will let all mi caygemaytes we on me an pull mi wiskas owt
20. i wil only do trix mi youmans spent munfs teechin me wen no wun is there
21. i wil not acspet defeet (or deankels) wen my youmans block up the sofa cushons wiv blankies to stop me livin insyde it lyke a nomad
22. i wil onlee do mi deepest sleeps wen i am lyin on mi bak wiv mi eyes open an i wil ignore mi youmans wen they sey oh mi gudness si cheques dat rat i fink ees ded!
23. i will onlee scrach my youmans faces wen they ave a divishonal meetin the next day wiv da big boss.
24. I wil neverr let mi clores be clippd.
25. i wil do all i can to mayke visitorres ask mi youmans 'why's ee doin that?'
26. i wil wayte ten seconds after mi mum ses to the vet 'its ok ee dursnt bite' before i bite da vet.
27. I understand the 'its mine' feory which is:
-if it comes frew da cage bars, it's mine!
-if sumwun els is eetin it, it's mine!
-the fud of the ovver rat is better than the fud of myself


pleeze sine ur name in da comments so i know you ave red an agreeyd to dis,

Love Riff